WHAT THE HECK IS IN THIS BRUSCHI?

Rumors, statements from anonymous family friends, no comment from the team, nurses calling in tips to the newspapers, rampant speculation, and ideas tossed in the air to see what sticks, guesses, and a lot of hot air out there over a story that has few facts and little substance. Something’s wrong with Tedy Bruschi. Or, something was wrong, but they just fixed it. Maybe what they told us last month was necessarily what transpired exactly. Maybe it is the truth and they just don’t want to release any information about it. What it comes down to is that there may possibly be a serious physical problem with Tedy Bruschi, but until the Patriots or Bruschi makes a statement addressing it, we’re sitting in the dark making guesses.

Well, that’s the big news in Boston sports.

Yeesh.

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THREE OR FOUR

Much has been written this spring in regards to whether David Ortiz or Manny Ramirez should bat third or fourth in the batting order. As long as they’re both healthy and in the line-up, I could care less where they hit. It is simply thrilling news coming out of Fort Myers, folks.

I guess this beats Margo-gate, or Roger Clemens leaving the headphones on while rookie Manager Butch “Pass the Eight-ball” Hobson tries to talk to him, or John McNamara snoozing in the dugout, or Nomar pouting, or Dan Duquette bringing in wave after wave of Asian pitchers with “potential”, or Wade Boggs falling out of a moving vehicle at a restaurant parking lot, but I guess we can’t complain about camp tranquility. With the Sox popularity spiking in recent years, I guess there is more a need to report any news (“Schilling Farts During Warm-ups, Will This Affect His Availability for Opening Day?”) and being without any significant training camp controversy is probably a good thing.

Maybe they could bring Mike Greenwell in to stir up some trouble…


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MISC:

With the NCAA tournament still a day away, the big news remains the streaking Celtics and their march towards the playoffs. Can they lock-up the three spot? (Barring a catastrophe, yes.) Will someone be kind enough to knock out Detroit or Miami for them? (Not bloody likely!) The Raptors are a must-beat team. Who the heck even plays for the Raptors nowadays in the post-T-Mac era? Jalen Rose, Chris Bosh, Donyell Marshall, and Matt Bonner I’ve at least heard of—the rest of these guys could be recent pick-ups from the Raynham Athletic Club League for all I know of them.

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First round upset special prediction for the NCAA’s tomorrow: UAB over LSU. (Only because an eleven seed always beats a six seed every year. I guess I have a 25% chance of picking the right one).

You heard it here first.

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