My God, it has come to this: The Celtics…no, no, sorry, YOUR Boston Celtics are the unprecedented weekend sports draw. Friday night versus the Bobcats—excuse me, the what? Charlotte couldn’t support the Hornets who headed to New Orleans where NOBODY there cares about them, and they’ll either linger or meander off to another locale for a few years. Why the Bobcats for the team name? Are bobcats indigenous to North Carolina? Does anyone in North Carolina care about pro basketball?

Well, no one really cares about the Bobcats up here, except for that they’re playing the Celtics tonight and everyone’s looking for the Walker Wiggle at the TD Banknorth Garden. Ok, I have no desire to ever see the Walker Wiggle ever again. Like watching Derek Jeter hugging Jorge Posada, there are things I’ve seen and never want to stomach seeing ever again. TD Banknorth Garden—aka a ton of money for naming rights down the tube. Fat guys with hairy back wearing Larry Bird jerseys are going to be walking around North Station this spring talking about “da Celts at da Gahden in da playoffs again”.

The other Celtics highlight is the return of Gary Payton. Didn’t they have to send a private jet out to Cali to pick this guy up for training camp? Hasn’t he expressed his desire to play on a contender on the west coast? Why is he back? The only thing I can think of is that with all the rookies and second-year guys on the roster (Justin Reed, Delonte West, Tony Allen, Al Jefferson, Marcus Banks, and Kendrick Perkins) he must have them carrying his luggage, wiping the sweat off his forehead at practice, doing his laundry, ironing his clothes, driving him to practice, bringing him lattes…hey, this would be a great promo on FSN.

* * *


From what I saw of the first preseason game for the Sox last night, Hanley Ramierez looked good: smooth in the field, hustling on the bases, confident at the plate. Hopefully, he’ll spend some time in Pawtucket and we can get a good look at the guy before he takes over second base from Bellhorn in 2006.

So can we get odds on how many home runs Jason Giambi hits this year? If he stays healthy, I don’t see him putting up more than thirty. Of course, all these home runs from all these juiced-up players makes you appreciate the home runs Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Teddy Williams, Stan Musial, Johnny Mize, Mickey Mantle, Ralph Kiner, Roger Maris, Mike Schmidt, George Foster, Dale Murphy, and Jim Rice put up all those years ago before the supplements took over and illegitimized the home run, which is a shame for Ken Griffey Jr, because he OBVIOUSLY isn’t juiced, and he has that classic home run swing. For the good of baseball, let’s hope Griffey Jr is healthy again.

Get Fuzzy. Heh, heh, heh. Nuff said. (Sure, it’s sports-related. Bucky and Rob argue about the Sox and the Yankees, Satchel listens to Rob’s rants on rugby. Either way, it doesn’t matter—it’s hysterical.)

Patten, Andruzzi, Law, Brown, and Phifer: all in all, with Starks already in the fold, no huge defections. Patten was out of the picture by the end of the season; The Patriots treat offensive guards like interchangeable parts—heck, they won a super bowl with Russ Hochstein at guard; Brown may still yet be back, but his production had dropped off at wide receiver, and Phifer may yet return or be replaced by someone younger; and Law replaced by Starks and a healthy Ty Poole. Starks and Asante Samuel at starting CBs, Poole as the best nickel back in the league, and Randall Gay as your dime back—that’s a deep secondary right there. Wilson can stay at safety with Harrison. Dex Reid and Guss Scott are the primary backups. Secondary looks pretty darn good right now.

Have a great weekend, everyone. As always, THANKS FOR READING!!!