Late-breaking news

Actually, the only reason I write this is because I'm breaking the news so late. I found out this tidbit of info a week ago, and, thanks to the neverending fight that is my thesis advisor, I'm only just writing this segment now...Anyway, the Roy Keane has landed out of the EPL. Keane turned down Everton, Real Madrid, West Bromwich Albion, and Bolton to make the move to the perennial Scottish powerhouse Celtic. Keane, excited to get back to playing footy again, said, "I'm not in this game to be popular," referring to his sour ending with Man United and Sir Alex Ferguson. Keane declared he was not interested in the captaincy of Celtic and he is not out to divide the team. The stories of the extent of his over-reactions with Man U were, according to Keane, "a lot of nonsense." Keane will make his debut next year (i.e. January) when Celtic travel to play Clyde. The stadiums and the crowds will most likely not be what Keane is used to from the EPL, but the former Man U captain is just eager to get back to playing football. "I know that I've something to offer [Celtic]," says Keane. In Keane, Celtic gets a talented midfielder for 18 months. Look for this signing to boost popularity of Scottish League football. Perhaps this will even be one of the first steps to bringing Scottish League teams into the elite of European Football clubs, the other being Rangers' qualifying for the elimination round of the European Champions League.

-Christopher J. Brigham