PUT ME IN COACH

I'm ready to play
(clap-clap)
Today

Less than a month until pitchers and catchers report, and all the local media outlets show video of the clubhouse boys at Fenway loading up the equipment for the trucks heading south. As we all know, the return of baseball means one thing: plotting to bring down Chazer in fantasy baseball.

OK, maybe a bit more than that, but I guess the Patriots being humbled in the playoffs really puts an exclamation mark on the end of the football season (Seattle versus Pittsburgh. Yawn). So all baseball, all over the place today as I try to empty some of the canisters in my mind.

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I just cannot wait until the first full-speed collision in shallow centerfield between Derek Jeter and Johnny Damon. Jeter running full speed out to centerfield, Johnny Damon running in from the warning track (since his horrific collision in the playoffs in 2003, Damon no longer goes back for the ball like he used to and thus plays so much deeper than he had in the past). Of course, this is good news for A-Rod as he finally will have his excuse to move to shortstop full-time.

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Ooh-ooh, first fist fight in the stands between Michelle Damon and Mrs. A-Rod. That will be the clip of the year as it gets replayed on an endless loop on ESPN.

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If I had Ichiro on my team, I would bat him clean-up.

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If the trade goes through between Boston and Cleveland as a six-person trade and the Sox get back the young catcher and David Riske as well as Coco Crisp, I think that shows that Cleveland, with Bob Wickman at the back of the bullpen and Bullet Bob Howry gone, needs Guillermo Mota as much as the Sox need Crisp.

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Other than price tag and perception in the media, what is the difference between Alex Gonzalez and Alex Cora?

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The Mets best move was signing Billy Wagner. The Phillies (Flash Gordon) and the Braves (umm, maybe Chris Reitsma) have closer issues. Of course, they Mets will still find a way to finish with more losses than wins.

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Pedro Prediction: 12-7 3.59 era, two trips on the DL.

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Can someone tell me why the Yankees spend $50 million plus on Johnny Rock Star and cannot get the one player who can calm their pitching staff and give them a chance next year, Bengie Molina? And, no, the answer is not Mike Piazza.

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I would move Papi to 1B full time and sign Piazza to DH and catch Wakefield.

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Dustin Pedroia had better start 135 games or more at shortstop in Pawtucket this season. I expect he should be the Red Sox starting shortstop for the foreseeable future starting in late 2006 or 2007.

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The White Sox, with their fantastic starting pitching, should be even better in 2006, but I still think Jim Thome was a bad idea and the offense just will not score enough runs to win more than 85 to 90 games.

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