Since there was no Sox game Thursday night, I guess it is time to look at my other Fantasy league team of jokers and chokers. This is what I call the Dan League, as my buddy and soccer scribe, Brigstah (congrats again on the new job starting this fall, my friend), invited me into a league with a few of his college buddies, who have a spirited, fun league (even though I know no one other than Dan, having met him at last at the fantastic Brigstah wedding last summer) in which eventually I will get into smack-talking when I move out of third place and start kicking butt. My weakness in the league, which is 5x5 cumulative stats, non-keeper, with max innings/games for each position, is that I burn out all my available innings by the end of August because I just cannot get enough starting pitchers. So I stay at the top of the standings due to my pitching stats, and then spend all of September dropping off to the middle of the pack. I am trying to stay under control and pick up some more set-up men to improve WHIP and wins without killing my innings, but it is tough to pass up those National League starters out on waivers. Anyway, here is the horrible team I trot out that is somehow in third place out of fourteen teams as of the middle of May:

Pos - -Batters
J. Mauer-(Min - C) - As I made the point the other day in my post about my other fantasy team, I have tried to get Mauer even though he killed me his rookie year when he got hurt after getting three hits on opening day.
C. Delgado -(NYM - 1B) - I kind of lucked into grabbing Delgado early on in the draft. Sure, I think he is smart to have toned down his anti-American comments, but as long as he hits I can deal with it. I mean, it is not like he is Barry Bonds or someone evil of that ilk.
F. Sánchez-(Pit - 2B,3B,SS) - I just scooped up Ready Freddy from the abyss of the waiver pool, as I just could not get out of bed in the morning another day with Craig Counsell at second base. Freddy is far from an ideal pick, but I am only looking for adequate at this point.
Mi. Cabrera-(Fla - 3B,OF) - Again, I make it a point to get Cabrera every year. I think he could be as good as Albert Pujols someday.
O. Vizquel-(SF - SS) - Yeah, I seriously thought he would hit .300. Really, I was throwing up in my mouth when I realized he was my SS (wait, I can play Counsell there! Bleeeechhh!). I just pray he keeps hitting (although I know he will not).
B. Wilkerson-(Tex - 1B,OF) - I insult the guy last column then he blasts a two-run job against the Yankees. Wilkerson, you suck! You are the worst! (Now keep hitting!)
M. Grudzielanek-(KC - 2B) - I know what you are thinking, and yes, it is as pitiful as it looks.
B. Abreu-(Phi - OF) The only way he leaves my team is if he is traded to the Yankees, where my NO YANKEES EVER policy goes into effect.
C. Lee-(Mil - OF) - A steal. He may be one of the best free agents this off-season if the Brew Crew cannot wrap him up. He would look good in left field at Fenway next year.
R. Ibañez-(Sea - OF) - Nothing special. Adequate. Kind of like the Mariners in general.
J. Jones-(ChC - OF) - Dear Lord forgive me for putting this strikeout, low OBP machine on my roster. Of course I am desperate, see the two bozos coming up next.
D. Young-(Det - 1B,OF) - Da Meathook! Pulled him off waivers. No, I do not expect much out of him. If he gets hot, I may ride a few home runs and RBIs off him, but that is all I can hope for at this point.
BN-J. Cruz-(LAD - OF) - Jose Cruz Jr? His Dad may be almost 60, but I would rather have him on my team right now.
BN-C. Counsell-(Ari - 2B,SS) - I think I am going to start crying now. Craig Freaking Counsell?
C. Monroe-(Det - OF) Who? Exactly. A fringe outfielder. He probably will not do much, but there really is no better spare outfielder available.
B. Zito-(Oak - SP) - Again, as I had conveyed in an earlier post, I drafted him too high for the little bit he will contribute this year.
SP-T. Glavine-(NYM - SP) - My savior so far this season. Glavine has been the best left-handed pitcher in the National League this year. No, I thought I might get 12 wins out of him.
B. Arroyo-(Cin - SP) - Another lucky pick. I figured Arroyo for ten wins (and that still may be his maximum), but he really has pitched great for Cincinnati.
E. Guardado-(Sea - RP) - Steady Eddie: as in steadily inconsistent.
Ro. Hernández-(Pit - RP) - Oh God my closer selection is weak.
Ja. Wright-(SF - SP,RP) - Who? Who cares.
P-J. Lackey-(LAA - SP) - Another solid starter. My starter collection: always a strength.
K. Millwood-(Tex - SP) - Surprisingly inconsistent this year, but he still should get 15 wins.
B. Myers-(Phi - SP) – Another pitcher I carry in both leagues EVERY year. Ever since I saw him shut down the Red Sox in spring training when he was still in AAA, I made a decision to draft him every year until he was a star. Well, I am still drafting him, but this year he should break through and win 18 or 19 games.
D. Davis-(Mil - SP) - I love these Milwaukee starting pitchers. I just love them.
J. Lieber-(Phi - SP) - I did have ANOTHER Phillies starter, but three was just too many. Lieber is on the bench since he is pitching against the Red Sox (another fantasy league rule of mine).
DL-M. MacDougal-(KC - RP) DL - Even he were healthy, he would not have any saves.
DL-D. Hermanson-(CWS - RP) DL - Really I should just release him, since he would not be closing anyway, but I have the spot so what the heck.

* * *