MICHAEL VICK: GIVING A LITTLE EXTRA EACH TIME OUT
Michael Vick. He was accused of passing on herpes. Heh-he-heh.
I liked the line that Vick denied the allegations of knowingly passing on herpes by clarifying that everyone knows from his play that he is a runner, not a passer. Alas, a version of my joke was in print already today (SI.com Scorecard) so I guess I cannot pass it off in good conscience without crediting the source.
I can, however, in bad taste and questionable humor, offer up some more originals:
This is yet another reason why no one in the NFL can or would want to tackle Vick.
He thought his agent said contract it, instead of sign the biggest contract.
Hey, Mike Ditka does pharmaceutical commercials, now Michael Vick can too!
That is like saying Magic Johnson knowingly passed on HIV to all those groupies and hookers he slept with.
And finally, the imaginary statement to the media:
Sure, I got herpes, I understand that. But what about Tom Brady? How the heck is he clean? He went out with Tara Reid! Somebody tell me how that boy is clean!
* * *
FAMILIAR NAME IN NEW ENGLAND?
Here is a familiar name who could join the Local 53 on draft day: ILB Lofa Tatupu of USC. Son of Mosi the Moose, a former Maine Black Bear.
Right now, Projected to be a fourth or fifth round pick. The scouts say he has good speed, but his 40 times are not fast enough; he is quick, but not quick enough; he is athletic, but his times running around cones and doing shuttle runs shows he is not athletic enough; and his weight lifting at the combine shows he is not strong enough to make it as a starter in the pro game.
They say that he is undersized, but could latch on as a special teams animal. However, based on how he has actually played while on the field, he is one of those players who does not appear to have the physical tools but always makes the plays. Based on how he played the game, he should be a first or second round draft pick. But, as we all know, that is now how players make it in the NFL draft.
I look at him, and I see another Zack Thomas, and the Patriots could really use a Zack Thomas kind of inside linebacker right now. He would appear to be a great fit for the Patriots. Besides, who would not want the team to have a Tatupu again?
* * *
THE MARCUS STROUD WATCH:
Marcus Stroud has been a no-show at the Jaguars' voluntary offseason conditioning program and remains far apart in talks with the team on a long-term contract extension. Stroud, who has made the Pro Bowl each of the past two years, has said he wants to be the highest-paid defensive tackle in the NFL and reportedly is seeking a signing bonus of between $15 million and $20 million. -- Jacksonville Times-Union
Does anyone think that the Patriots are shelling out $15 to $20 million just for a signing bonus for Richard Seymour? Jarvis Green, your long-term contract will be finished in short order. Rodney Bailey, whoops, two year extension quietly taken care of already. Ty Warren still locked up. Hmm, why did the Pats draft Marquise Hill, a defensive lineman, in the second round last year? Richard Seymour and his contract situation, that is the reason why.
* * *
CELTICS STORM BACK TOWARDS RELEVANCE:
It was another impressive win for the Celtics against the Milwaukee Bucks. Yes, it was the Bucks, not exactly a powerhouse team, but the Celtics were without Antoine Walker. The bench came up big again, and the development of Al Jefferson and Kendrick Perkins took another step forward. Hopefully, Coach Jimmy and the 76ers will trade a bag of practice balls for favorite big man, Mark Blount, this off-season. Blount is useless. How this chump played so well last season during his contract push is mind-boggling.
The young point guards, Marcus Banks and Delonte West, both showed flashes of potential last night. West was on his game on the offensive end, looking very comfortable at shooting guard. Marcus Banks did not play much, but when he was in at the end of the third quarter, he made a great pass to Pierce and added a huge shot of his own.
Good signs from the boys in Green. It is a big game Saturday against the New Jersey Nets. The Nets having been playing great lately and are pushing hard for the right to the eight seed and a spanking by Shaq and the crew in the first round of the playoffs.
* * *
Michael Vick. He was accused of passing on herpes. Heh-he-heh.
I liked the line that Vick denied the allegations of knowingly passing on herpes by clarifying that everyone knows from his play that he is a runner, not a passer. Alas, a version of my joke was in print already today (SI.com Scorecard) so I guess I cannot pass it off in good conscience without crediting the source.
I can, however, in bad taste and questionable humor, offer up some more originals:
This is yet another reason why no one in the NFL can or would want to tackle Vick.
He thought his agent said contract it, instead of sign the biggest contract.
Hey, Mike Ditka does pharmaceutical commercials, now Michael Vick can too!
That is like saying Magic Johnson knowingly passed on HIV to all those groupies and hookers he slept with.
And finally, the imaginary statement to the media:
Sure, I got herpes, I understand that. But what about Tom Brady? How the heck is he clean? He went out with Tara Reid! Somebody tell me how that boy is clean!
* * *
FAMILIAR NAME IN NEW ENGLAND?
Here is a familiar name who could join the Local 53 on draft day: ILB Lofa Tatupu of USC. Son of Mosi the Moose, a former Maine Black Bear.
Right now, Projected to be a fourth or fifth round pick. The scouts say he has good speed, but his 40 times are not fast enough; he is quick, but not quick enough; he is athletic, but his times running around cones and doing shuttle runs shows he is not athletic enough; and his weight lifting at the combine shows he is not strong enough to make it as a starter in the pro game.
They say that he is undersized, but could latch on as a special teams animal. However, based on how he has actually played while on the field, he is one of those players who does not appear to have the physical tools but always makes the plays. Based on how he played the game, he should be a first or second round draft pick. But, as we all know, that is now how players make it in the NFL draft.
I look at him, and I see another Zack Thomas, and the Patriots could really use a Zack Thomas kind of inside linebacker right now. He would appear to be a great fit for the Patriots. Besides, who would not want the team to have a Tatupu again?
* * *
THE MARCUS STROUD WATCH:
Marcus Stroud has been a no-show at the Jaguars' voluntary offseason conditioning program and remains far apart in talks with the team on a long-term contract extension. Stroud, who has made the Pro Bowl each of the past two years, has said he wants to be the highest-paid defensive tackle in the NFL and reportedly is seeking a signing bonus of between $15 million and $20 million. -- Jacksonville Times-Union
Does anyone think that the Patriots are shelling out $15 to $20 million just for a signing bonus for Richard Seymour? Jarvis Green, your long-term contract will be finished in short order. Rodney Bailey, whoops, two year extension quietly taken care of already. Ty Warren still locked up. Hmm, why did the Pats draft Marquise Hill, a defensive lineman, in the second round last year? Richard Seymour and his contract situation, that is the reason why.
* * *
CELTICS STORM BACK TOWARDS RELEVANCE:
It was another impressive win for the Celtics against the Milwaukee Bucks. Yes, it was the Bucks, not exactly a powerhouse team, but the Celtics were without Antoine Walker. The bench came up big again, and the development of Al Jefferson and Kendrick Perkins took another step forward. Hopefully, Coach Jimmy and the 76ers will trade a bag of practice balls for favorite big man, Mark Blount, this off-season. Blount is useless. How this chump played so well last season during his contract push is mind-boggling.
The young point guards, Marcus Banks and Delonte West, both showed flashes of potential last night. West was on his game on the offensive end, looking very comfortable at shooting guard. Marcus Banks did not play much, but when he was in at the end of the third quarter, he made a great pass to Pierce and added a huge shot of his own.
Good signs from the boys in Green. It is a big game Saturday against the New Jersey Nets. The Nets having been playing great lately and are pushing hard for the right to the eight seed and a spanking by Shaq and the crew in the first round of the playoffs.
* * *
Comments