Will the Sox get hot? They have won eight of ten, five of six, and are winning ugly, but they still have not broke out and really put together a couple of dominant series with hot hitting together with hot pitching. That is a good sign of course. The Sox have yet to hit their peak, while the 2004 Orioles, I mean, the 2005 Yankees have had their best week and picked up no games in the standings on the Sox. The Orioles also must be looking back at the Sox behind them thinking that if they have already played their best of the season and the Sox have been inconsistent and are right there in striking distance already, it is going to be a tough job to hold the Sox off or at least keep up with them.
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PREDICTING THE END OF THE LINE:
Five game winning streaks against struggling West Coast teams notwithstanding, when are the Yankees going to reach the breaking point? Steinbrenner cannot sit silent much longer. My best guess is that he will not make it to the fourth of July. They just released (or will soon) Steve Karsay, eating over $5 million dollars in the process. The entire pitching staff, with its almost $100 million price tag has underachieved, and George will come down on someone. The likely suspect is Mel Stottlemeyer, who is there so Regular Joe Torre has someone to mix his drinks. In the ten years Stottlemeyer has coached the Yankees pitching staff, what pitcher has improved his performance as a Yankee? The only way Steinbrenner can get inside the head of Average Joe is through the firing of Mixing Mel. Fourth of July.
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WILL THE CELTICS SAY GOOD-BYE TO PAUL PIERCE?
The Boston Herald finally got around to doing the work I was too lazy to do and sportswriter Mark Murphy identified seven potential trade partners for the Celtics if they decide to move Pierce. Quick synopsis with my thoughts:
Seattle, Ray Allen: In a heartbeat. Allen is a player who can shoot, pass, and run the floor. As a free agent, a sign-and-trade would benefit him (maximum dollars) and the Celtics (perfect cap match for Pierce).
Milwaukee, Michael Redd: Young, a shooter, and as a free agent, a sign-and-trade would benefit him (maximum dollars) and the Celtics (perfect cap match for Pierce).
Indiana, Ron Artest: I would be all for it, but I doubt Indiana would want Pierce.
L.A. Clippers, Elton Brand: With Big Al, we would do this for what reason?
L.A. Lakers, Lamar Odom: Uh, yeah. An underachieving pot-head who is an underachiever to boot. Just what the team needs. Yikes.
Washington, Larry Hughes: To quote bad porn actresses: Yes, YES, GOD YES!!!
Portland, Shareef Abdur-Raheem: Umm, see Elton Brand comment above.
* * *
THE ORIGINAL WHIZZINATOR:
Oh my God, I just about fell down I was laughing so hard on this one. For anyone who has not heard about it yet, Minnesota Vikings running back Onterrio Smith, already with two drug suspension in the NFL drug program, was busted for having vials of white powder in his bag at the airport. No, not the coke, it was dried urine for use in a device to beat urine tests for drugs called The Original Whizzinator that uses, among its supplies, a fake penis and a bladder to be hidden in an athletic cup.
See, and I was abusing the trademark when I was calling my son the original whizzinator back when he was potty-training. All I could think of was Austin Powers and his Swedish Penis Enlarger from the first (and only funny) movie in the spy-spoofs series.
* * *
WORDS THAT, JUST FIVE YEARS AGO, NO ONE WOULD EVER BELIEVE WERE WRITTEN WITHOUT SARCASM:
"Thank God for the New England Patriots. They just reconfirm everything we stand for at the University of Florida. It's accountability. It's taking care of one another. It's working harder than your opponent. There's no luck involved. It's (quarterback) Chris Leak getting that tailback to play harder." – Coach Urban Meyer, http://www.tallahassee.com/mld/tallahassee/sports/11624319.htm
* * *
* * *
PREDICTING THE END OF THE LINE:
Five game winning streaks against struggling West Coast teams notwithstanding, when are the Yankees going to reach the breaking point? Steinbrenner cannot sit silent much longer. My best guess is that he will not make it to the fourth of July. They just released (or will soon) Steve Karsay, eating over $5 million dollars in the process. The entire pitching staff, with its almost $100 million price tag has underachieved, and George will come down on someone. The likely suspect is Mel Stottlemeyer, who is there so Regular Joe Torre has someone to mix his drinks. In the ten years Stottlemeyer has coached the Yankees pitching staff, what pitcher has improved his performance as a Yankee? The only way Steinbrenner can get inside the head of Average Joe is through the firing of Mixing Mel. Fourth of July.
* * *
WILL THE CELTICS SAY GOOD-BYE TO PAUL PIERCE?
The Boston Herald finally got around to doing the work I was too lazy to do and sportswriter Mark Murphy identified seven potential trade partners for the Celtics if they decide to move Pierce. Quick synopsis with my thoughts:
Seattle, Ray Allen: In a heartbeat. Allen is a player who can shoot, pass, and run the floor. As a free agent, a sign-and-trade would benefit him (maximum dollars) and the Celtics (perfect cap match for Pierce).
Milwaukee, Michael Redd: Young, a shooter, and as a free agent, a sign-and-trade would benefit him (maximum dollars) and the Celtics (perfect cap match for Pierce).
Indiana, Ron Artest: I would be all for it, but I doubt Indiana would want Pierce.
L.A. Clippers, Elton Brand: With Big Al, we would do this for what reason?
L.A. Lakers, Lamar Odom: Uh, yeah. An underachieving pot-head who is an underachiever to boot. Just what the team needs. Yikes.
Washington, Larry Hughes: To quote bad porn actresses: Yes, YES, GOD YES!!!
Portland, Shareef Abdur-Raheem: Umm, see Elton Brand comment above.
* * *
THE ORIGINAL WHIZZINATOR:
Oh my God, I just about fell down I was laughing so hard on this one. For anyone who has not heard about it yet, Minnesota Vikings running back Onterrio Smith, already with two drug suspension in the NFL drug program, was busted for having vials of white powder in his bag at the airport. No, not the coke, it was dried urine for use in a device to beat urine tests for drugs called The Original Whizzinator that uses, among its supplies, a fake penis and a bladder to be hidden in an athletic cup.
See, and I was abusing the trademark when I was calling my son the original whizzinator back when he was potty-training. All I could think of was Austin Powers and his Swedish Penis Enlarger from the first (and only funny) movie in the spy-spoofs series.
* * *
WORDS THAT, JUST FIVE YEARS AGO, NO ONE WOULD EVER BELIEVE WERE WRITTEN WITHOUT SARCASM:
"Thank God for the New England Patriots. They just reconfirm everything we stand for at the University of Florida. It's accountability. It's taking care of one another. It's working harder than your opponent. There's no luck involved. It's (quarterback) Chris Leak getting that tailback to play harder." – Coach Urban Meyer, http://www.tallahassee.com/mld/tallahassee/sports/11624319.htm
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