You know you are talking about Boston Sports when the World Series is in full swing and all anyone can talk about is a rumor that Theo Epstein is ready to bolt from Boston.



A deep breath everyone on the Theo and the Conscience of the King(s): if he leaves, which I doubt he will, he is a bad gambler. Name any other market where a General Manager stars in Dunkin Donuts commercials, has a legion of groupies (my wife, Kathy, included), gets to rock out with local bands, and works within a T ride of where he grew up. Yeah, I am sure that he will have all this fun, excitement, opportunity, and dollars to spend when he takes the Tampa Bay GM position.

What Theo is doing is exactly what he does on a daily basis: the negotiating game. The closer Theo gets to Halloween, the higher the salary climbs in accordance to the risk that the triumvirate will pull the offer and give the dough to Brian Cashman, who is simultaneously engaged in his own game of contract Russian Roulette (more on Cashman later). Theo knows exactly what he is doing, how he is doing it, and what the likely outcome will be for him. Come November first, Theo will likely be GM of the Red Sox, with a lot more money than he was offered at the beginning of the month and likely a little more firing and hiring power in the front office.

Theo got where he is by working his ass off, being shrewd, knowing when and how to gamble, being the smartest person in the room, and most importantly, knowing how to play the front office game. I think that the screaming bozos on the radio and on TV need to realize that Theo is using them to his advantage right now. Believe me, the man knows what he is doing.

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How much money does it take to give up all of your self-worth and allow yourself to be abused? Half-a-million? A million? A million-and-a-half? Someone get a hold of Brian Cashman, the GM of the Yankers, and find out. Cashman is a very good General Manager, as near as anyone can figure out when they separate the Steinbrenner moves from his role as GM. Why this man takes the abuse he takes from Steinbrenner is beyond me. In fact, I wonder why anyone in the organization sticks around.

Cashman seems wrong for the Yankees: he is controlled, intelligent, and well spoken. I hope for his sake he leaves the Bronx Zoo and allows Steinbrenner to find someone as out of control as he is so we can start getting Yankees front office fistfight updates in the papers. Heck, make Reggie Jackson the GM, that would be entertaining enough right there.

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I must say, I am glad I did not see Houston tie the game. I turned it off after the Roy Oswalt meltdown when the Fox executives started jumping out of their offices and splattering to the ground below. Houston, down three games to none, sends out Brandon Backe to try to stave off elimination. If by some miracle the series gets extended, which I hope it does, it will be a beautiful sight to see Roger Clemens on the mound one last time as he, in keeping with his character, promptly gets hammered in the playoffs and blames it on an injury as he rides off into the sunset (sniff, it brings a tear to my eye).

Of course, if this game started just an hour earlier on the East Coast and did not feature a bazillion walks, maybe the audience would have stuck around for the conclusion, but as I stated the other day, that is simply not going to happen anymore. TV rules the World Series, and that is fact.

Also, I will gladly accept checks, money orders, and IOUs from all the White Sox fans (OK, both of you) for jinxing the Houston Afros by throwing my support fully behind them. Astros fans, if any actually exist, can feel free to send over the hate mail, as it is so much more entertaining than the spam I usually read.

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Anonymous said…
One problem...with the Dunkin Donuts commercials, "dream job," and adoring fan base also comes a complete lack of privacy and fans that have no regard whatsoever for his personal space. I've heard stories of Theo having to wear a ski mask to go to Starbucks and fake being on his cell phone to get people to leave him alone. He cannot go out to get a sandwich without dumb fat guys coming up to him and making retarded trade suggestions. It's not the picnic you seem to think it is.
Kathy said…
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No privacy? C'mon, how many entertainment personalities REALLY do not want/need the ego boost of everyone knowing their name? (OK, Kurt Cobain, but he proved it the hard way).

Seriously, I think anyone would take that over being Dave Dombrowski and realize that no one in the city of Detroit knows you are the GM of the Tigers, and if they did, they would run him out of town.