So what is history going to tell us about deposed Red Sox GM Theo Epstein, who is replaced by the Gang of Two for the time being? For those of us who cannot wait, I will wish for Cosmo and Wanda to create my Timmy Turner model time machine to go to 2010 and find out:
Dateline: October 30, 2010: Washington Senators CEO, President, Special Advisor to U.S. President John Kerry & Senior General Manager Larry Lucchino continued his beltway bantering with Boston Red Sox CEO, President, Junior Senator from Massachusetts and minority owner Theo Epstein this week, hiring away Sox manager Kevin Millar and signing free agent DH-1B David Ortiz. Apparently the feud is still simmering as it has over the past few years from their repeated jabs and proclamations of who really made the decision to sign baseball’s first thirty game winner since 1968, Matt Clement. While Epstein and the Sox have traded world series titles with Lucchino and the Senators, no team can seem to maintain the upper hand over their bitter rival. On his deathbed, former Yankees owner and former foil of both Lucchino and Epstein, George Steinbrenner, offered a prayer of peace for the franchises.
Umm, better yet, let us never visit that horrific future again and get back in touch with the modern day:
* * *
GOLD MINE:
The Red Sox are sitting on a gold mine: Bronson Arroyo. With the crazy spending going on for starting pitching, the Sox are sitting pretty with the pop star and his cheap pay and productive ways. Arroyo, on the open market, would be getting Matt Clement money the way dollars are being dumped on these non All-Star starters.
Sure, they could trade him or save him as a piece to bargain with at the mid-season deadline, but unless they are getting back a closer or All-Star shortstop or right-fielder, it makes too much sense to keep the Boston balladeer. With Schilling, Wells, and Papelbon all unknown quantities, it makes sense to keep Arroyo around to bolster the bullpen and take over the spot of whoever gets injured in the rotation (as we New England Patriots fans know, you gotta have depth).
* * *
STILL ALIVE AT 8-5:
As the Chicken Littles of the sporting world run for cover the New England Patriots, the same squad left for dead three weeks ago, are finally showing signs of emerging from their prolonged funk. With a healthy running game, a patchwork offensive line, a healthy front seven, and four guys on their feet in the secondary, Eric Mangini has finally got his fee underneath him and released the hounds on the dregs of the AFC East. Sure, Ron Borges will tell you that he needs the Pats to prove themselves by beating Tampa (and if them, then by beating the Jets again, then by beating Miami, then by winning a wild-card match, then by beating the Colts in Indy, then by beating Cincinnati or Pittsburgh or San Diego or Jacksonville or Kansas City, then by beating the Seahawks in the Super Bowl and then he still will beat the team up for losing five games this season), but the Pats should be in good shape for the game on Saturday.
The Big Points from Sunday:
a. Stopping the run: Say what you will about the front five of the Bills offensive line looking more like the Electric Company from PBS that aired after Mr. Rogers in my youth rather than the Electric Company that put an over-hyped murderer from USC in the Hall of Fame, but holding Willis McGahee to three yards on eight carries is a prolific event. Heck, McGahee would normally rush for more yards than that behind a high school offensive line. Credit the Patriots front seven for stepping it up. Now the Cadillac (who automatically goes to my fantasy league bench when playing the Patriots) has to look at that game tape and grimace in preparation of the tilt going on Saturday.
b. Pressuring the young quarterback: Papa Phil is going to do a lot of whispering in one ear of little Chris while Psycho-Therapy Jon Gruden shouts in his other. After the damage done to Brooks Bollinger and J.P. Losman the past two weeks, the QB who stole too many snaps from Major Applewhite will get a quick education in what happens when the foremost disciple of defense, Bill Belichick, matches wits with the Clown with a Frown, Crazy Chuckie Gruden.
c. Running the ball: It seems so simple, Stop the run on defense, limit the big plays, run the ball on offense, and convert a few key third downs. That is the formula every team (OK, maybe not the Eagles) goes into the game with week after week. For the Patriots, they have made it look easy the past two weeks. The key on offense has been Corey Dillon on first and second down and Kevin Faulk on third down. What a boost these two give to the offense. We all loved Heath and Hammy-grabbin Patrick Pass, but this is the way a running game is built to operate. Pound it inside and then mix it out of the backfield.
* * *
CROSSTOWN TRAFFIC:
No, the title means nothing other than to reference the Jimmy Hendrix song I heard for the first time in too long this weekend. But anyway, here are the quick, random thoughts:
Only the Jets can lose by winning. Bye-bye Reggie, Vince, and Matt.
* * *
I hear the Yankees expect big things out of Aaron Small this year. Bwah-hah-hah!
* * *
Good job Boston College basketball. Now I can forget about you until you get upset by Holy Cross in the first round of the NCAA tourney.
* * *
Big Al and Big Perk for the Green. I will say it again: PLAY THEM UNTIL THEY FOUL OUT EACH AND EVERY NIGHT! Mark Blount and Raef LaFrentz are the future of nothing.
* * *
Craig Shipley must be pissed being the brightest of the bunch and passed over as co-co-co-GM.
* * *
Maybe Larry Lucchino should employ a bunch of doubles like Saddam Hussein always did when out in public. Heck, maybe Theo should get his brother a wig and use him for a decoy since the notoriety is too much for poor little him.
* * *
Now is the time for the Bruins to trade goalie Andrew Raycroft for a good young goal-scoring forward.
* * *
I cannot wait until Marcus Vick gets to the NFL. Then I can be the first to refer to him and brother Mike Vick as BLUNTMAN and CHRONIC. Man, I hope no one else thought of this already.
* * *
Dateline: October 30, 2010: Washington Senators CEO, President, Special Advisor to U.S. President John Kerry & Senior General Manager Larry Lucchino continued his beltway bantering with Boston Red Sox CEO, President, Junior Senator from Massachusetts and minority owner Theo Epstein this week, hiring away Sox manager Kevin Millar and signing free agent DH-1B David Ortiz. Apparently the feud is still simmering as it has over the past few years from their repeated jabs and proclamations of who really made the decision to sign baseball’s first thirty game winner since 1968, Matt Clement. While Epstein and the Sox have traded world series titles with Lucchino and the Senators, no team can seem to maintain the upper hand over their bitter rival. On his deathbed, former Yankees owner and former foil of both Lucchino and Epstein, George Steinbrenner, offered a prayer of peace for the franchises.
Umm, better yet, let us never visit that horrific future again and get back in touch with the modern day:
* * *
GOLD MINE:
The Red Sox are sitting on a gold mine: Bronson Arroyo. With the crazy spending going on for starting pitching, the Sox are sitting pretty with the pop star and his cheap pay and productive ways. Arroyo, on the open market, would be getting Matt Clement money the way dollars are being dumped on these non All-Star starters.
Sure, they could trade him or save him as a piece to bargain with at the mid-season deadline, but unless they are getting back a closer or All-Star shortstop or right-fielder, it makes too much sense to keep the Boston balladeer. With Schilling, Wells, and Papelbon all unknown quantities, it makes sense to keep Arroyo around to bolster the bullpen and take over the spot of whoever gets injured in the rotation (as we New England Patriots fans know, you gotta have depth).
* * *
STILL ALIVE AT 8-5:
As the Chicken Littles of the sporting world run for cover the New England Patriots, the same squad left for dead three weeks ago, are finally showing signs of emerging from their prolonged funk. With a healthy running game, a patchwork offensive line, a healthy front seven, and four guys on their feet in the secondary, Eric Mangini has finally got his fee underneath him and released the hounds on the dregs of the AFC East. Sure, Ron Borges will tell you that he needs the Pats to prove themselves by beating Tampa (and if them, then by beating the Jets again, then by beating Miami, then by winning a wild-card match, then by beating the Colts in Indy, then by beating Cincinnati or Pittsburgh or San Diego or Jacksonville or Kansas City, then by beating the Seahawks in the Super Bowl and then he still will beat the team up for losing five games this season), but the Pats should be in good shape for the game on Saturday.
The Big Points from Sunday:
a. Stopping the run: Say what you will about the front five of the Bills offensive line looking more like the Electric Company from PBS that aired after Mr. Rogers in my youth rather than the Electric Company that put an over-hyped murderer from USC in the Hall of Fame, but holding Willis McGahee to three yards on eight carries is a prolific event. Heck, McGahee would normally rush for more yards than that behind a high school offensive line. Credit the Patriots front seven for stepping it up. Now the Cadillac (who automatically goes to my fantasy league bench when playing the Patriots) has to look at that game tape and grimace in preparation of the tilt going on Saturday.
b. Pressuring the young quarterback: Papa Phil is going to do a lot of whispering in one ear of little Chris while Psycho-Therapy Jon Gruden shouts in his other. After the damage done to Brooks Bollinger and J.P. Losman the past two weeks, the QB who stole too many snaps from Major Applewhite will get a quick education in what happens when the foremost disciple of defense, Bill Belichick, matches wits with the Clown with a Frown, Crazy Chuckie Gruden.
c. Running the ball: It seems so simple, Stop the run on defense, limit the big plays, run the ball on offense, and convert a few key third downs. That is the formula every team (OK, maybe not the Eagles) goes into the game with week after week. For the Patriots, they have made it look easy the past two weeks. The key on offense has been Corey Dillon on first and second down and Kevin Faulk on third down. What a boost these two give to the offense. We all loved Heath and Hammy-grabbin Patrick Pass, but this is the way a running game is built to operate. Pound it inside and then mix it out of the backfield.
* * *
CROSSTOWN TRAFFIC:
No, the title means nothing other than to reference the Jimmy Hendrix song I heard for the first time in too long this weekend. But anyway, here are the quick, random thoughts:
Only the Jets can lose by winning. Bye-bye Reggie, Vince, and Matt.
* * *
I hear the Yankees expect big things out of Aaron Small this year. Bwah-hah-hah!
* * *
Good job Boston College basketball. Now I can forget about you until you get upset by Holy Cross in the first round of the NCAA tourney.
* * *
Big Al and Big Perk for the Green. I will say it again: PLAY THEM UNTIL THEY FOUL OUT EACH AND EVERY NIGHT! Mark Blount and Raef LaFrentz are the future of nothing.
* * *
Craig Shipley must be pissed being the brightest of the bunch and passed over as co-co-co-GM.
* * *
Maybe Larry Lucchino should employ a bunch of doubles like Saddam Hussein always did when out in public. Heck, maybe Theo should get his brother a wig and use him for a decoy since the notoriety is too much for poor little him.
* * *
Now is the time for the Bruins to trade goalie Andrew Raycroft for a good young goal-scoring forward.
* * *
I cannot wait until Marcus Vick gets to the NFL. Then I can be the first to refer to him and brother Mike Vick as BLUNTMAN and CHRONIC. Man, I hope no one else thought of this already.
* * *
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