I NEVER WEAR A DERBY

Not that I am going to live blog the Home Run Derby, but since the kids are snoozing and there are no games on tonight (and Star Trek TNG is playing the first season again on G4 TV: No beard on Riker, I do not want to watch it), I figured I would grab a Corona and watch the big boppers. Let me give a quick recap:

Round One:
John Kruk, Harold Reynolds, Chris Berman, and Joe Morgan all need to shut-up. Tim Kirkjian can talk.

David Wright: Wright was unbelievable. He was hitting bombs in the first round. The best part was the idiot club of ESPN talking about how he had not chance since he was a line drive hitter. Wright is amazing.

Jermaine Dye: Dye, who wore out the Red Sox this weekend, had seven homers but never got in a groove. Which is fine, since I am sick of watching him hit homers after the way he wore out the Red Sox pitchers.

Miguel Cabrera: Cabrera came in and banged out nine. Funny thing with Cabrera: every year I get him in the first couple rounds (usually in the third or fourth round!) of the fantasy draft. And every year he hits over .300, hits 30 or more homers, and drives in over 100 RBIs while qualifying at third base and in the outfield as well.

Miguel Tejada: Tejada, the first batter, only hit three. It was inexorable watching him take a billion pitches, step out, and take their time.

Lance Berkman: Berkman hit one bomb into the water on the fly, but otherwise never got into the groove.

Troy Glaus: How did Glaus only hit one dinger? Maybe this is because it seems like he wears out the Red Sox and dents the Green Monster with regularity. Now that he is back with Toronto, whoo-freaking-hoo, I thought we were safe from him went he went to the National League. Regardless of how bad he did there, in Cali and in Toronto now, he is back to healthy, slugging ways.

Big Papi: Let me tell you, he may not have hit the most home runs, but he hit some serious rockets. Why they did not pack the line-up with lefties with the allure of the water behind right field is beyond me. Did they forget 1999 and the excitement of the balls bouncing beyond the Monster and into the street? Anyway, ten dingers for Papi, that should get him into the second round.

Ryan Howard: Howard, the third lefty, was the first to hit the ESPN idiots, I mean announcers, in center field (Papi went over them). Howard was clutch knocking Jermaine Dye out.

ROUND TWO:

Wright and Ortiz both ran out of gas in the second round. Wright had enough homers to get to the second round, but Cabrera did well enough to pass Big Papi, and Ryan Howard started warming up in the second round. Howard, you can see why the Phillies unloaded Jim Thome. This guy is a beast who can power the ball. Ten in the second round and into the finals for Howard.

FINALS:

OK, I had two 24 ounce Coronas (my liver is not what it used to be so I do not need to drink much anymore) so I am really not paying much attention right now. David Wright is running out of juice here, with four homers in the final round. Howard is hitting some bombs here. Five outs to hit one more homer.

10:43PM: Ding dong, long gone and off the sign in right field. Ryan Howard nailed that ball. Hell of a performance by the big bopper.

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