Monday, June 20, 2005

TITILLATING

How is this not the major news story? We all know that in the debacle that was Tyson versus McBride, the man who loves pigeons more than Bert from Sesame Street, Iron Mike Tyson, tried to head-butt, bite, and break the arm of tomato can Kevin McBride. But now McBride is saying that Tyson bit his nipple! As soon as I get home I am rushing to see if this is on the HBO On-Demand. Biting ears is one thing, but biting the nipple of another man is just plain kinky. (Nipples, eh? Maybe I should mention Hazel Mae again!)

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SHUT THE FOULKE UP:

Kudos, high praise, and a huzzah for Keith Foulke and his admission that he talks to WEEI because they give him a free truck to go on the radio (sponsored by Ford). I think this type of disclosure is overdue. These athletes are used to getting meal money, drinks comped at bars, free clothes in boutiques, free Gatorade and sunflower seeds, tobacco lobbyists pandering to them with free Skoal, and more. Why should they talk to some schlep writer for free? If I were famous, I would demand a free subscription to the Globe and Herald before I talked to those yips. Good for Foulke, I say.

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NUMBER FIFTEEN:

One of my newest advertising links is numberfifteen.com (http://www.numberfifteen.com), a site dedicated to number fifteen on the Red Sox: Kevin Millar.

Millar is an interesting persona on the Sox, as he serves as media liaison and resident joker, but also does not provide a lot of power out of a power position. Obviously, the Sox knew what they were getting when they pried Millar away from Japan in a controversial waiver move about which I do not remember the details nor do I care to recall the specifics, although I imagine taking on Danny Tomori who was smacked around all spring training and has shown nothing at Pawtucket so far was some kind of final restitution.

Millar has also shown that he should not be allowed to get complacent about his role on the team. For the past two season, he has not started hitting until direct competition in the form of Doug Mientkiewicz last season and John Olerud this season. Also, for all his clubhouse leadership and support from Terry Francona, he has been a whiner and moaner whenever his playing time is cut. What a team player!

Despite his intangibles, I do not see how the Sox bring back Millar for anything short of a fourth outfielder/back-up 1B/back-up DH role at a major discount next season when he is a free agent. Millar is a liability in the field and does not have the necessary power to take up such an important position in the lineup. We all love the cowboy, but we will still love him next year when he plays twice a week and we have a legitimate 30+ home run hitting first baseman.

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