Wednesday, July 13, 2005

SIGN MY BOOBS, BRONSON

Sorry, I did not make it to the Bronson CD signing extravaganza at Newbury Comics yesterday afternoon as I neither stood in line to buy the CD, bought the CD, got a wristband, nor stood in line again to get his autograph on the CD. I did, however, walk by about 15 minutes before he was due to show to see what the crowd would look that was standing in line all afternoon out on Newbury Street.

I expected the 90 percent teenybopper crowd; it was the 10% weird looking 50 year old guys in number sixty-one Sox jerseys that gave me the willies. I hope they were getting the autograph for their daughter, but I somehow doubt it.

* * *

A JOKE:


Yes, another fascinating mid-summer classic is in the books. It was not a tie, so I was happy. Why Bud Selig insists on trying to make the all-star game into something it can never be again is a conundrum. The 1941 all-star game with Ted Williams skipping around the bases after hitting a two-out bottom of the ninth, game-winning, walk-off home run will never be achieved again. Then, the all-star game was a true event. There was no free agency, no inter-league play, no ESPN, sixteen teams total, Chicago and St. Louis were as West Coast as they got back then, and the only time the leagues met were in the World Series and this newfangled all-star game. Baseball would be better served to cancel the all-star game for a few years and then re-introduce it with much fanfare if they want to truly get a buzz around the game. Otherwise, they need to accept that it is still light years better than the NFL Pro Bowl, NBA all-star game, and NHL (when they play) celebrity shootout on ice combined.

1941, I will throw in here, was also the year that Ted Williams hit .406 and led the league in batting average, on-base percentage, slugging percentage, runs, walks, home runs, and was fourth in RBIs. Of course, Mr. Coffee himself, Joe DiMaggio, went on to win the MVP because he captured the attention of the nation by hitting .408 over 56 games. Sure he hit in 56 games straight, but unlike Williams he had substantial line-up protection provided by the most dangerous hitter in the lineup, Charlie King Kong Keller. Yeah, keeping that average at that level for 150+ games was no doubt too tough for Mr. Coffee, but not for Teddy Ballgame. Damned sportswriters screwed the Splendid Popsicle that year, but not for the last time, that is for sure.

* * *

EL GUAPO:

Hey, El Guapo was pitching in the Venezuelan Winter League as a closer this past winter at least until he left early to hit the Girls Gone Wild Portuguese edition in Venezuela on some beach and his family filed a missing person report. Whoops, sorry Hon, forgot to mention that road trip! Track Garces down! Have Theo get one of his uber-front office boys to track him down. We need bullpen help, and it beats what the Yankees are doing: getting Ramiro Mendoza ready to join the bullpen.

* * *

ROCK ME AMADEUS:

I got a free Itunes download on my purchase of a slurpee at 7-11. No, I should have downloaded Falco but went instead for the Joe Perry solo song Shakin My Cage. Actually, it was alright. Could have been on Draw the Line or any other late seventies Aerosmith album.

* * *

New England Patriots: On Vacation as Free Agency Begins - Full Press Coverage

The 2019 NFL year has begun with the advent of free agency and as usual the New England Patriots are one of the quietest teams. While teams ...