Thursday, October 06, 2005

NOT GONNA DO IT

Nope, not talking about it. Yes, I saw it. Yes, I saw IT, and NO I am officially not talking about it at all. Nada, no way, nope, uh-uh, sorry, not talking. Red Sox? Nope, never wear them. Usually black, tan or blue. White Sox? Never wear them during the week. Graffanino? Yeah, I think it is a spice in the meatballs used instead of dill. Boomer? Nah, no thunder last night. Pierzynski? Yeah, I usually get a polish sausage out on Yawkey Way. That is the brand name, right?

Nope, definitely not talking about it.

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PATRIOTS:

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT IN GEORGIA?


Tough road to hoe this weekend on the road against the Falcons for the Patriots. The good news? It is time to play GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS once again. The bad news? Well, there is way too much of it in the Patriots camp this week:

GOOD NEWS: Michael Vick on the Falcons injury list.
BAD NEWS: He is the only one on the injury list! And he is probable. The Pats have fourteen players on the injury list (including Tom Brady and his phantom shoulder injury)

GOOD NEWS: Very few teams run the ball as well as San Diego, now in the Patriots rear-view mirror.
BAD NEWS: Uhh, that one team that runs the ball better than the Chargers? Yeah, it is the Falcons (200+ yards per game).

GOOD NEWS: Vick and his scrambling make up a lot of those 200+ yards per game.
BAD NEWS: Even without his numbers, the Falcons drop all the way to number two. Not a big difference.

GOOD NEWS: To replicate a scrambling quarterback, the Patriots are using Doug Flutie on the scout team.
BAD NEWS: Last I checked, Flutie never ran a 4.20 forty yard dash.

GOOD NEWS: The last time the Patriots were 2-2 they went on to win the Super Bowl.
BAD NEWS: I remember them starting 4-0 the year after the first Super Bowl win and finishing 9-7 and out of the playoffs. Last year, and the year before, and the year before, etc have no bearing on the team this year. Old numbers mean nothing.

GOOD NEWS: The Bills have no QB; the Jets have no QB; the Dolphins have Gus Ferrotte.
BAD NEWS: The Patriots have no one left standing in the secondary, linebacker play is inconsistent, and the D-Line read all their press clippings and forgot to get to work.

GOOD NEWS: The season is still young.
BAD NEWS: The bye is still 2+ weeks away.

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BRUINS:

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU THROW A PARTY AND NO ONE SHOWS UP?

The poor Bruins. Back at last, and they get treated like an Ah-Ha comeback tour. Party at the Gah-dehn, and everyone was home watching the Red Sox (wait, I am not talking about that team today). Of course, I admit that I tired flipping stations back and forth to the Bruins game, and went full-time to the sordid affair at U.S. Cellular Field (note to self: stop talking about that game).

ON THE TRADING BLOCK:

Joe Thornton. Joe Thornton. Joe Thornton. Damn Joe Thornton. Can someone tell me why I, with the number one pick in the fantasy hockey draft, would grab a chump like Jumbo Joe? Do I like pain and suffering? The anguish of him skating in circles instead of planting his ass in front of the net. Has the man never seen Cam Neely park it and poke it in? Yo, Tommy, send back that trade offer!

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MORE TO COME:

Tomorrow, I will try to get back into making some picks for Sunday so everyone can enjoy in my humiliation. Also, I am hoping to get a chance to really dig into this Atlanta Falcons team, as they are right now looking like the NFC super bowl representative.

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