Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Opening Day

Hockey Returns to the Hub! Yee-hahh!

RED SOX:

HOW I HATE THEE, WHITE SOX; LET ME COUNT THE WAYS:

1. Ozzie Guillen: I did not like him when he played, and I do not like him now. Loud, obnoxious, self-serving, and arrogant: everything that fans clamor for in a manager; however, it is everything that wears thin most swiftly and leads to a ticket out of town.

2. Frank Thomas: I could care less that he is out injured; somewhere, Lincoln Jarvis is cursing the Big Hurt and wondering why he bought 500 rookie cards (Much like the Gregg Jeffries rookie card fiasco). Frank Thomas has been the biggest waste of salary and space since Mo Vaughn and Albert Belle.

3. Scott Podsednik: Remember that kid in little league, or Babe Ruth league, or high school who could not hit a lick, but always started in center field, hit lead-off, and chewed tobacco at the age of fifteen? Yeah, everyone knew someone like that, and Podsednik was the one who made it to the majors. What Kevin Millar needs to do is when the pitcher throws over to first base to keep Podsednik close, he needs to start slapping that tag right on his knee to slow him down a bit. By game three there would be a nasty bone bruise and Podsednik would be going nowhere.

4. El Duque, Contreras, Jurassic Carl: Anyone related in anyway to the Yankees makes the list. Special mention for Jurassic Carl Everett as he will never be forgiven here in Boston. NEVER!

5. A.J. Pierzynski: Like Frank Catalanotto of the Blue Jays, he and his obnoxious hustling and nasty attitude belongs on the Red Sox. Could someone tell me why the Red Sox panicked, re-signed Doug Mirabelli, and then bid against themselves for Varitek? They should have signed Pierzynski the Polish Sausage and then hard-balled Varitek down to $6 million a year. Then, when Pierzynski caught Wakefield and occasionally gave Varitek a day off, he could DH on the days he was not playing and Big Papi could play first base. Kevin Millar would then have been traded to Kansas City for Graffinino.

The hatred inside me is growing stronger. Like Oakland in 2003, this White Sox team is really starting to annoy me. If only they had Jeremy Giambi, then I could really hate them.

* * *

MONEYBALL VERSUS SMALLBALL:

If you have not read the greatest baseball book of the century, Moneyball by Michael Lewis, then I cannot stress how much you are missing out on a fantastic look at the game of baseball through the eyes of Oakland GM Billy Beane, who is truly a visionary. To think that hard-line, old-time baseball fans, players, executives, etc continue to miss out, miss the point, or miss the opportunity to see into the mind of Beane boggles my mind. Every executive rushes out to get the book and throw quotes around when Jack Welch writes a new book, but they scorn and ridicule Beane when his story is presented. Joe Morgan has earned all the scorn he receives for his short-sighted views towards Moneyball, Billy Beane, statistical analysis, and computers and their roles in Baseball. Fire Joe Morgan, indeed!

Anyway, the Red Sox, led by Moneyball disciple Theo Epstein, are matched up against the White Sox and the anti-Moneyball, Ozzie Guillen. Go Red Sox, Go. Prove Joe Morgan wrong again for us, please. PRETTY PLEASE?

* * *

PATRIOTS:

HOW THE SEASON IS GOING TO TURN AROUND:

1. Tom Brady needs time to set-up in the pocket, plant his feet, and make his throws. He is not Bledsoe back there, and he can slide forward or to the side to avoid pressure, but throwing with defenders coming at him untouched limits his effectiveness. Yes, Tony Eason would have simply crumbled in the face of such pressure, but Brady does need more than three-tenths of a second to get off a very good throw.
The Good News? Dante Scarnecchia is the da man, and the O-Line will be grooving by the time the bye week is upon us.

2. Bill Belichick, Josh McDaniels, Dante, and Tommy Ballgame need to commit to the running game early and often. Corey Dillon needs to haul the rock 25 times a game. NEEDS TO, I repeat, needs to haul it that many times. He is not Brian Westbrook, Dillon needs to get the ball enough to wear down the defense and then beat them into submission through-out the fourth quarter.
The Good News? Belichick knows this and is likely working on it as we speak.

3. Richard Seymour, Big Vince Wilfork, and Tyrone Shoelaces Warren need to deflate their heads and lose the giant egos that appeared after the Pittsburgh victory. The crappy offensive line of the Chargers pushed them all over the field on Sunday.
The Good News? It is likely still ass-kicking time by the Patriots coaches as you read this as the d-line is getting worked like dogs this week.

4. Duane Starks and Chad Scott played worse than Earthwind Moreland and Hank Poteat last season.
The Good News? Re-read the line above: IT DOES NOT GET ANY WORSE THAN THAT! I CANNOT PLAY WORSE THAN EARTHWIND AND HANK! OK, the good news, though, is that Ty Poole and Randall Gay should be back soon. Especially with Gay out, the Pats secondary is not making the big plays. Gay should help with that immediately.

5. Bill Belichick needs to push Mangini and Daniels aside and take over.
The Good News? That would be the best news, although it is the unlikeliest course of action. Take over, Bill. Please, just take over the offense and the defense and get back to kicking butt.

* * *

KLEMM-TASTIC:

Kudos to Michael Felger of the Herald, and now his own talk show on ESPN Radio in Boston, for pointing out that the Packers O-Line on the left side is manned by former Patriots Adrian Klemm and Grey Ruegamer. As Felgie put it so eloquently: In a related story, the Packers are 0-4.

* * *

CELTICS:

TEAM MVP:


You heard it here first: Team MVP and serious league MVP candidate this season: Ricky Davis. This is the year he puts it all together. Like I said, you heard it here first.

* * *

Opening Day

Hockey Returns to the Hub! Yee-hahh!

RED SOX:

HOW I HATE THEE, WHITE SOX; LET ME COUNT THE WAYS:

1. Ozzie Guillen: I did not like him when he played, and I do not like him now. Loud, obnoxious, self-serving, and arrogant: everything that fans clamor for in a manager; however, it is everything that wears thin most swiftly and leads to a ticket out of town.

2. Frank Thomas: I could care less that he is out injured; somewhere, Lincoln Jarvis is cursing the Big Hurt and wondering why he bought 500 rookie cards (Much like the Gregg Jeffries rookie card fiasco). Frank Thomas has been the biggest waste of salary and space since Mo Vaughn and Albert Belle.

3. Scott Podsednik: Remember that kid in little league, or Babe Ruth league, or high school who could not hit a lick, but always started in center field, hit lead-off, and chewed tobacco at the age of fifteen? Yeah, everyone knew someone like that, and Podsednik was the one who made it to the majors. What Kevin Millar needs to do is when the pitcher throws over to first base to keep Podsednik close, he needs to start slapping that tag right on his knee to slow him down a bit. By game three there would be a nasty bone bruise and Podsednik would be going nowhere.

4. El Duque, Contreras, Jurassic Carl: Anyone related in anyway to the Yankees makes the list. Special mention for Jurassic Carl Everett as he will never be forgiven here in Boston. NEVER!

5. A.J. Pierzynski: Like Frank Catalanotto of the Blue Jays, he and his obnoxious hustling and nasty attitude belongs on the Red Sox. Could someone tell me why the Red Sox panicked, re-signed Doug Mirabelli, and then bid against themselves for Varitek? They should have signed Pierzynski the Polish Sausage and then hard-balled Varitek down to $6 million a year. Then, when Pierzynski caught Wakefield and occasionally gave Varitek a day off, he could DH on the days he was not playing and Big Papi could play first base. Kevin Millar would then have been traded to Kansas City for Graffinino.

The hatred inside me is growing stronger. Like Oakland in 2003, this White Sox team is really starting to annoy me. If only they had Jeremy Giambi, then I could really hate them.

* * *

MONEYBALL VERSUS SMALLBALL:

If you have not read the greatest baseball book of the century, Moneyball by Michael Lewis, then I cannot stress how much you are missing out on a fantastic look at the game of baseball through the eyes of Oakland GM Billy Beane, who is truly a visionary. To think that hard-line, old-time baseball fans, players, executives, etc continue to miss out, miss the point, or miss the opportunity to see into the mind of Beane boggles my mind. Every executive rushes out to get the book and throw quotes around when Jack Welch writes a new book, but they scorn and ridicule Beane when his story is presented. Joe Morgan has earned all the scorn he receives for his short-sighted views towards Moneyball, Billy Beane, statistical analysis, and computers and their roles in Baseball. Fire Joe Morgan, indeed!

Anyway, the Red Sox, led by Moneyball disciple Theo Epstein, are matched up against the White Sox and the anti-Moneyball, Ozzie Guillen. Go Red Sox, Go. Prove Joe Morgan wrong again for us, please. PRETTY PLEASE?

* * *

PATRIOTS:

HOW THE SEASON IS GOING TO TURN AROUND:

1. Tom Brady needs time to set-up in the pocket, plant his feet, and make his throws. He is not Bledsoe back there, and he can slide forward or to the side to avoid pressure, but throwing with defenders coming at him untouched limits his effectiveness. Yes, Tony Eason would have simply crumbled in the face of such pressure, but Brady does need more than three-tenths of a second to get off a very good throw.
The Good News? Dante Scarnecchia is the da man, and the O-Line will be grooving by the time the bye week is upon us.

2. Bill Belichick, Josh McDaniels, Dante, and Tommy Ballgame need to commit to the running game early and often. Corey Dillon needs to haul the rock 25 times a game. NEEDS TO, I repeat, needs to haul it that many times. He is not Brian Westbrook, Dillon needs to get the ball enough to wear down the defense and then beat them into submission through-out the fourth quarter.
The Good News? Belichick knows this and is likely working on it as we speak.

3. Richard Seymour, Big Vince Wilfork, and Tyrone Shoelaces Warren need to deflate their heads and lose the giant egos that appeared after the Pittsburgh victory. The crappy offensive line of the Chargers pushed them all over the field on Sunday.
The Good News? It is likely still ass-kicking time by the Patriots coaches as you read this as the d-line is getting worked like dogs this week.

4. Duane Starks and Chad Scott played worse than Earthwind Moreland and Hank Poteat last season.
The Good News? Re-read the line above: IT DOES NOT GET ANY WORSE THAN THAT! I CANNOT PLAY WORSE THAN EARTHWIND AND HANK! OK, the good news, though, is that Ty Poole and Randall Gay should be back soon. Especially with Gay out, the Pats secondary is not making the big plays. Gay should help with that immediately.

5. Bill Belichick needs to push Mangini and Daniels aside and take over.
The Good News? That would be the best news, although it is the unlikeliest course of action. Take over, Bill. Please, just take over the offense and the defense and get back to kicking butt.

* * *

KLEMM-TASTIC:

Kudos to Michael Felger of the Herald, and now his own talk show on ESPN Radio in Boston, for pointing out that the Packers O-Line on the left side is manned by former Patriots Adrian Klemm and Grey Ruegamer. As Felgie put it so eloquently: In a related story, the Packers are 0-4.

* * *

CELTICS:

TEAM MVP:


You heard it here first: Team MVP and serious league MVP candidate this season: Ricky Davis. This is the year he puts it all together. Like I said, you heard it here first.

* * *

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